I see the glass as half full of wonderful experiences and memories.
I am positive.
I’ve got this.
I am the support I need to get through this.
I believe in myself.
While at Fresno State, circa 1992, I was selected to be a part of an elite marketing/management class headed by the late Dr. Vic Panico. Dr. Panico introduced me and my classmates to the term Pygmalion Effect. The Pygmalion Effect was introduced by Rosenthal and Jacobsen in 1965 and is defined as: a teachers’ expectations of his/her students has a profound effect on the way the student performs. In other words, positive expectations influence the performance of the individual positively and negative expectations influence a person’s performance negatively. Fast forward to 2022, while having dinner with friends, one of the friends was hired by the Navy to improve pilot’s performance. Out of the pilots, who were already at the top of their game, it was learned that each individual improved from their optimal peak performance by 60%. Though the concept and method were applied differently, it can be correlated that high expectations (not unrealistic) can improve a person’s belief of his/her abilities in a positive light. In other words, I believe that anyone who is self-motivated, and thinks highly of him or herself can achieve their goals if given the proper tools towards achievement. The sky is the limit. This application can go for not only teachers, but parents, friends, co-workers, friends, supervisors, and even family members.
THOUGHTS ON THE PYGMALION EFFECT
DO I BELIEVE THAT POSITIVE EXPECTATIONS FROM OTHERS CAN MAKE ME PERFORMANCE TURN OUT POSITIVELY?
"When we expect certain behaviors of others, we are likely to act in ways that make the expected behavior more likely to occur." (Rosenthal and Babad, 1985)
DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THE ABOVE STATEMENT AND WHY OR WHY NOT?
Eliza Do Little was the main character in the movie, My Fair Lady. My Fair Lady is a musical based upon George Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion. Book and lyrics by Alan Jay Lerner and music by Frederick Loewe. The story centers around an unmannered, poor, Cockney dialect flower girl who takes speech lessons from Professor Henry Higgins, a phoeticist, so that he can get her to pass for a well mannered, sophisticated wealthy well-bred lady.
The Pygmalion Effect is defined as your expectations of people and their expectations of themselves as key factors in behavior. Do you believe this to be true?
If we can all take the Eliza Do A Little More Effect into account each and everyday, we can be the change we hope to see in the world. Do you believe this to be true?
There are a few simple steps to take in your life to Do A Little More.
Take responsibility for thoughts, feelings and actions.
Set up boundaries that are healthy and make you feel good about yourself and others.
Learn to be interdependent, not dependent or independent, but interdependent upon outcomes, expectations, and life in general.
Believe you are good.
Believe you are capable.
Believe you can achieve.
Take risks.
Try and try again, don’t give up.
Believe that failure is not an option.
Set high goals for yourself.
Create a vision board.
Remember, you are your own cheerleader, you are bright and clever, don’t beat yourself up, live and be happy!
In Dr. Carlson's book, "Overcoming Hurts and Anger," on the last page of the book he talks about being loving. The essence of the Bible teaches us that God loved us so much that he gave his only son, his most precious gift. Sometimes life feels overwhelming, too many places to go, too much to do, too much stress, too much hurt, too much anger, too much unknown. But when we rest on God and realize that he first loved us and that is enough for all of us.
We all have hurts and anger, some of us know our limits, some of us don't. With age comes nothing, in my opinion, you could be old, feeble and unkind or you could be old, able, and kind. The chapter talks about never taking your own revenge. If you are kind to your enemies in effect, God says you will reap hot coals upon their head. Never loose your cool, your temper because someone needs something from you. It's up to you to decide if you're gonna give it to them or not. Sometimes we are able and sometimes we are unable. So, in effect, do not be overcome by evil, rather overcome evil with good.
We've never walked in anyone else's shoes besides our own. So don't judge another for the moccasins that they wear. In other words, don't be judgmental with how others deal with their stress, hurt, and anger. Only be concerned if it is unhealthy.
Remember, in our everyday lives we were not promised a rose garden and even those have thorns. But we were reminded that God loves us so much and forgives us our daily sins, maybe perhaps we should give ourselves a BREAK as well.
In Dwight Carlson's book, Overcoming Hurts & Anger, page 98, we uncover the benefits of being able to express your negative feelings. Some beneficial effects of expressing one's feelings either through journaling or outwardly expressing are: reduction in blood pressure, fewer doctors visits, shorter hospital stays, improved immune system function. But there is a limit to how long a person holds onto anger or the cathartic way a person processes. After a specific point, one can get stuck in the "anger." In the bible, in the book of Job, God has to rein Job in, he has ventilated his anguish to his friends and to God and God has to say, "Job, that's enough!" Continuing to dwell on anger can actually increase pent-up anger and lead to inappropriate aggressive behaviors.
What are some things I can do today to let go of the past pain and turn over a new lease on life?
In Dwight Carlson's book, Overcoming Hurts & Anger, on page 31 he makes a very good point about anger. "Anger in my opinion, is like energy. It cannot be destroyed, but it can be stored, its form can be changed, or it can be properly discharged. When we bury the anger within us and repeatedly deny its existence, I believe it accumulates in what I call the unresolved anger fund."
So, the more we attempt to ignore or push down anger, the accumulative deposits we make into the unresolved anger fund. This will stockpile our anger to a breaking point in which it manifests and expresses itself through an emotional or physical symptom. People in denial of their anger too can store it in the unresolved anger fund and the active holding back of thoughts and emotions can become manifested in disease and the failure to confront trauma or multiples trauma forces the person to live in an unresolved manner. So, unresolved anger in time is like a splinter that never was removed properly. So anger left unresolved will eventually reemerge in a sort of PTSD state and anger will be turned inward and a suppression of the anger feelings will leave the individual depressed, with negative thoughts, unhappy, and in a state where the proportion of anger to the current stress or trauma is out of proportion with the current situation, can leave a person unable to function, perform daily activities. A splinter can fester, and even if we don't know what to call our anger feelings, our brains must eventually make sense of the piling on of one "trauma" after another "traumatic experience" to the point that unresolved anger becomes in inward plight of self-hate and loathing and even little stressors or daily living becomes marred, ruined and drowned by misconceptions of reality.
Confused and hurt people can mask their emotions and also they can split their personalities in a sort of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde approach to living and dealing with unresolved anger. There seems to be a misconception that if I forget about how angry I am, or if I suppress my anger and appear nice, compliant, and accommodating that in essence, they can block the expression of anger. In reality, it's like a dam breaking. Unresolved anger, or suppressed anger actually presses the individual to feel something.
Hurts and anger can lead to mallidies such as high blood pressure or even depression. Depression is suppression of anger. But the triggers to the stressors can become unpredictable and anger and rage outbursts can occur often over the simplest things or situations that shouldn't anger a person. Why? I believe it is because people that suppress anger, or have unresolved anger due to traumas which have maybe transpired at younger ages, have piled on to current life situations, however when the trauma occurred the age of the trauma and how a person would know or not know how to deal with the problem haven't been formed yet, therefore the only thing we have to go by is our flight or fight response and when that is watered down, it drowns our ability to not only feel angry but also feel joy and other feelings. Feelings are neither good or bad, thinking makes them so. But if you inhibit your ability to feel-- anesthetize the feeling then you are unable to express socially acceptable ways of showing your feelings because you are messing with receptors.
Share your thoughts on ways to acknowledge your "unresolved anger."
1) Journal
2) take a walk
3) participate in self-care
4) confront the person or situation that is angering you, if it can be done constructively and in a healthy manner.
5) write the bad feeling on a piece of paper and say, "this too shall pass."
Creamy Pesto Tortellini with capers and sun-dried tomatoes
9 ounces of fresh three cheese tortellini
1/2 cup of sun-dried tomatoes
black pepper
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
extra Romano and Parmesan cheese
1 Tbs. capers
1 to 1 1/2 cups of pesto sauce
Directions: Cook pasta according to package directions, drain after cooked. Add pesto, capers, nutmeg and black pepper as well as sun-dried tomatoes to the pasta. Stir in 1 cup of pesto sauce, add extra virgin olive oil if need be, top with cheese.
